wait wait wait you mean to tell me there are people running around dating and marrying each other *without* feeling limerence??????
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i'm uh. not sure i understood this before
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can someone describe to me what it's like to be romantically attracted to someone without feeling limerence because i literally don't think i know
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it's like you're into them and care about them and enjoy hanging out and love each other's company but you're not obsessed with them and having intrusive thoughts about them or writing songs and poetry about them and stuff
they're a partner and real person, not an idol or muse
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you kind of need distance for limerence, anyway - the obsessiveness and the 'directionalness' of limerance doesn't make sense otherwise
but you can kinda skip it and have the attachment still work out fine if you go via proximity first
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this is like a silly baby question but which part of this is different from just really liking someone as a friend
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the part where you want to live together forever and have their babies
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and to be clear that can also be a component of a limerance fantasy! and I've been there, too
but like there's an important difference between a fantasy and a plan, somehow? (it is blurred in the middle, but it's about how in touch with reality it is)
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Replying to @captain_mrs and @metaLulie
Once upon a time I fell in love at first sight. Horribly traumatic. Would not recommend.
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Replying to
aha! yes thank you for clarifying this in particular!
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I think this is a thing in general not just in romantic contexts, like there's a tracking-reality-factor categorically distinguishing plans from fantasies
like are there enough hooks/stitches holding it and reality together that if reality moved, the picture would move with it?
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