wait wait wait you mean to tell me there are people running around dating and marrying each other *without* feeling limerence??????
Conversation
i'm uh. not sure i understood this before
1
51
can someone describe to me what it's like to be romantically attracted to someone without feeling limerence because i literally don't think i know
Replying to
well, one way is to simply not know what “limerance” is - had to Google it 🤷♂️
1
5
Same. Pseudo psychobabble coined in the late 70s is spurious.
Just enjoy the thrill and the vibe! Distrust its absence.
1
Replying to
it's like you're into them and care about them and enjoy hanging out and love each other's company but you're not obsessed with them and having intrusive thoughts about them or writing songs and poetry about them and stuff
they're a partner and real person, not an idol or muse
1
2
47
you kind of need distance for limerence, anyway - the obsessiveness and the 'directionalness' of limerance doesn't make sense otherwise
but you can kinda skip it and have the attachment still work out fine if you go via proximity first
1
24
Show replies
Oh also this
4
13
Show replies
Replying to
ok I read the definition on wikipedia and wtf is the difference between "limerence" and just like having a crush on someone. I don't get what is weird about this
3
9
it’s all a psyop just be with ur feelings and intuition and trust them
not everything needs a word ffs
1
4
Show replies
Replying to
It was only when I stopped conceiving of love/romance as some kind of random, benign mental infection and approached it with deliberateness/agency that I was freed from the recurring affliction of limerence and found my wife/mother of my children
2
25
Part of the shift in mentality is knowing exactly what it is you have to offer to a woman vs. feeling like a magical jewel dropped in your undeserving lap, having no idea how you got it and, more importantly, how you could possibly hope to keep it
1
13