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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
the pernicious influence of "intelligence" on all of this stuff is something i have tweeted about previously, this whole hierarchy of who is seen as having actual knowledge about the technical details of AI risk that other people can only defer to
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
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that's a bit of a digression from my main point but it ties into this broader issue in rationalist epistemics around who is considered "smart" enough that you have to defer to their opinions, and the extent to which "intelligence" is framed as gating access to important truths
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
in order to buy the whole rationalist / AI risk pitch you have to buy that 1) the end of the world is coming 2) for complicated reasons, which you need to be Smart and Rational and Good At Math / CS to understand
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
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if you seriously buy the AI safety pitch *and* you feel insecure about your intelligence / your ability to do math you're in an uncomfortable position. the entire shape of your future is being dictated by forces you don't feel capable of understanding. wat do?
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
regardless of how true this is the way this background assumption about the state of things gets constantly reinforced ends up putting a lot of pressure on intelligence. would you be surprised to hear that lots of rationalists have weird feelings about their intelligence (it me)
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
ironically of course the way in which i get tangled up worrying about my own intelligence is sort of self-refuting. when i actually look at the pattern the limiting factor in my being able to think about world stuff isn't intelligence, it's emotional resilience + flexibility
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
with "flexibility" here i also have in mind things like being able to skillfully reframe. like currently the way i'm set up is that every crisis is an opportunity to fail and find out what an idiot i am. i am dimly aware it doesn't have to be like that but it's *real* sticky
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
working through all this stuff is as usual compounded in difficulty by intelligence being a rude topic to talk about. so it goes. wouldn't be the first time i've had to deconstruct part of the culture war just to figure out what is going on in my own head
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
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wow i wandered through a bunch of topics there sorry apparently i had a lot to get off my chest. the difficulty of dealing with these dynamics is compounded by the fact that you're not allowed to talk about intelligence anymore. extremely annoying meta-dynamics tbh
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Robbie Palmer
@robjpalmer
I've had severe mental blocks on sharing both where I feel weak and where I feel strong Both feel so dangerous I've made great progress in sharing where I feel weak I feel like I've made no progress on sharing where I feel strong
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
i imagine there will be a lot of different blocks here but for me sharing my strengths feels like making promises i'm not sure i can keep? i am really really afraid of disappointing people i guess :/
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Robbie Palmer
@robjpalmer
Do you only have this with positive things about yourself? I find I have this issue with any & all statements Any opinion at all, being held to it & shamed for it if it is wrong That perfectionistic drive to be perfect & especially to avoid any form of hypocrisy
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