with "flexibility" here i also have in mind things like being able to skillfully reframe. like currently the way i'm set up is that every crisis is an opportunity to fail and find out what an idiot i am. i am dimly aware it doesn't have to be like that but it's *real* sticky
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working through all this stuff is as usual compounded in difficulty by intelligence being a rude topic to talk about. so it goes. wouldn't be the first time i've had to deconstruct part of the culture war just to figure out what is going on in my own head
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wow i wandered through a bunch of topics there sorry apparently i had a lot to get off my chest. the difficulty of dealing with these dynamics is compounded by the fact that you're not allowed to talk about intelligence anymore. extremely annoying meta-dynamics tbh
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I've had severe mental blocks on sharing both where I feel weak and where I feel strong
Both feel so dangerous
I've made great progress in sharing where I feel weak
I feel like I've made no progress on sharing where I feel strong
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It's so ironic how weak I feel in the act of claiming my strengths
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i imagine there will be a lot of different blocks here but for me sharing my strengths feels like making promises i'm not sure i can keep? i am really really afraid of disappointing people i guess :/
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Oof feel that
The main one for me is anti-ego conditioning
Humbleness as a virtue (but in practice the most social adept humblebrag & virtue signal) When say something directly positive about yourself, get passive aggressive "ooh la de das" at best, full social rejection at worst
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We mock Americans for the stereotypical full on positivity "you go girl" etc
But mostly cause everyone assumes it is *always* fake
We favour type II errors, & stereotypically Americans favour type I errors
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I think I could do with some full on brash positivity in my life
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i like anime as a source of role models for this
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Which ones spring to mind?
I was watching Dragonball Z recently & was like oh fuck
This feeds so strongly into my perfectionistic sense of relentlessness, being unable to cave & having to push through massive pain to self-sacrifice for others
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lots of anime has lots of different kinds of brash positivity hmm. off the top of my head my hero academia, also the body improvement club from mob psycho 100, good wholesome lads
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Please tell me "good wholesome lads" is the name of a show, I'm frantically googling trying to find it 🤣
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i wish, it should be!
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