so a fun fact about me is whenever i start worrying about the trajectory of civilization (AI risk, famine, inflation, pandemic, take your pick!!!) everything gets funneled through feeling *stupid*. like "why am i not smart enough to figure out what to do about this"
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covid overwhelmingly felt to me like the universe was giving me a really hard test and i was mostly failing it. this kind of schoolbrain nonsense apparently just runs really deep in my psyche and i have not been able to budge it hardly at all really
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i get this for other things but the interesting thing for covid specifically is that it felt like the universe gave me a hard life-complete test and for the first time in my life i actually *passed it*, and that gave me lots of confidence to do other stuff and heal trauma etc
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