...growing increasingly dismayed about something???
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she's also getting a bit unhappy at the end of books in general but Caterpillar is the most intense
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if I imagine this, the child parts of me "get it". not sure what I could say to explain!
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speaking "from" this part:
oh my god, this is garish
like the bad part, the end is coming, you are happy about the end coming?
this doesn't feel happy, this feels bad
something perverse/decadent in a bad way is happening
you're trying to make me be OK with dying?? or pretend?
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oooh huh!
yeah okay this makes sense actually!
she used to just like my hand signals for "butterfly" but she's been more...nervous about stuff lately? like today she saw a beetle and said "☹️ nooo" and backed up
the illustration itself hadn't occurred to me
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whereas in the previous section, he actually looks cute?
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like damn the butterfly actually looks sad as fuck
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yeah the previous illustrations feel really more "grounding" to my system. consistent little ridges of consistent size and shape. variations of a single color. little cute solid feet
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and I wonder if it's really jarring to have this really positive arc (hungry! eats a lot of good food with interesting holes!) and then she always makes me skip the part where he has a stomachache and eats a leaf, but then there's relief bc he's happy and big and fat...
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and then boom, he's a horrible scary thing??? horrible scary is a bad thing why would the bad thing come after so many good things? is the food bad??? wtf???
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yeah jeez the more i look at the butterfly the worse it gets. it's like the wings are a parasite that sucked all the food out of the caterpillar and now he's starving