yeah tried saying this to me awhile back and i wasn’t having it but i’m coming around to this pov. i think for me crying had a sort of meta effect of reaffirming to myself that i had permission to cry, and i really needed this a lot and now seem to need it less
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there is like a more general feeling into how a particularly big energy wants to express itself and i have a wider repertoire of expressions now than i used to. crying is still really nice to have around when it feels like the appropriate option tho
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so shinzen has a 2x2 for like "internal * external suppression" and he's like (these are my words, but I feel I'm expressing it fairly) "yeah you can basically do everything internally energetically and it's fine" and I'm like👀re that
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in some way I'm in an argument with myself about this, I think for me the crux is like, how much to distrust traditional systems for being so superficially unemotional, not dealing with "content" etc.
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This is ~cruxy for me re like, how seriously to take wayfinding, b/c it seems extremely good, and also I still mostly believe that eg. the thai forest ajahns are like, "on the top of the game" or whatever, even tho I still feel quite put off by aggressively renunciative stuff
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i vaguely think traditional systems just didn’t have to deal with the level of emotional dysfunction i / we / moderns have and that’s a relatively new thing that has to be dealt with first before the more classical stuff. some bits of spectrum of ecstasy suggest this
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this smells a bit of "I am the worst sinner before christ." like, sure, something something social complexity, but trauma isn't new, in the pali canon there's ppl with sexual trauma, physical abuse, etc,
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i actually think widespread insecure attachment / C-PTSD might be relatively new, post-WWII or thereabouts. that kind of early life stuff magnifies the effect of everything else
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in terms of how common it is, like, maybe, but surely the shape did occur before, and prolly wasn't even that uncommon
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like peasant societies were fucking barbaric and traumatizing as shit, afaict, let alone pre-agricultural
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yeah idk, i don’t really know anything about india 2500 years ago one way or the other. i do think there are several reasons to regard the modern era as uniquely damaging - you could point to television, pollutants like lead for the boomers…
but none of this is like a well worked out thesis on my part, i’m just telling you what i believe and some bits of why and if you don’t find that convincing that’s fine
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