actually how do singers in metal bands keep their throats healthy? i couldn’t possibly sing like that without throat damage
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I was probably just being reckless but I went through a phase where my voice was gone most of the time for a few weeks, then it came back tougher. I only did backup vocals though
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damn that was so cathartic I miss it
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do love me that catharsis tho
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okay how do you feel about catharsis wrt wayfinding?
I feel like bio-emotive reifies catharsis in a way that's like,,, oblivious? of proper unknotting etc
it's remarkable that traditional meditative systems give zero fucks about catharsis
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yeah tried saying this to me awhile back and i wasn’t having it but i’m coming around to this pov. i think for me crying had a sort of meta effect of reaffirming to myself that i had permission to cry, and i really needed this a lot and now seem to need it less
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there is like a more general feeling into how a particularly big energy wants to express itself and i have a wider repertoire of expressions now than i used to. crying is still really nice to have around when it feels like the appropriate option tho
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so shinzen has a 2x2 for like "internal * external suppression" and he's like (these are my words, but I feel I'm expressing it fairly) "yeah you can basically do everything internally energetically and it's fine" and I'm like👀re that
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in some way I'm in an argument with myself about this, I think for me the crux is like, how much to distrust traditional systems for being so superficially unemotional, not dealing with "content" etc.
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This is ~cruxy for me re like, how seriously to take wayfinding, b/c it seems extremely good, and also I still mostly believe that eg. the thai forest ajahns are like, "on the top of the game" or whatever, even tho I still feel quite put off by aggressively renunciative stuff
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i vaguely think traditional systems just didn’t have to deal with the level of emotional dysfunction i / we / moderns have and that’s a relatively new thing that has to be dealt with first before the more classical stuff. some bits of spectrum of ecstasy suggest this
this smells a bit of "I am the worst sinner before christ." like, sure, something something social complexity, but trauma isn't new, in the pali canon there's ppl with sexual trauma, physical abuse, etc,
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and nowhere does the buddha say "ah well if you've got severe enough trauma these practices won't work for you"
there's some plausible argument that developmental trauma accounts for all of the cultivating karma to awaken in a future life stuff but ehhhhh
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