so ran her Descent Into Dance Hell class from vibecamp at and i went this time and i'm glad. the main thing i learned is that i constantly judge every move i make when dancing, monitoring myself to make sure my movements aren't too feminine or too sexual
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there were a handful of times when the inner critic fell asleep at the wheel and i was actually "just dancing" without thinking about it but it only lasted maybe a second each time and then the inner critic abruptly woke up again and then i had to suppress it. frustrating :/
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i really don't understand how to feel good dancing solo but in a group (as in i'm not dancing with anyone else in the group). it's a weird mix. there's people around and we're dancing but they're not reflecting my energy or vice versa? we're not synchronizing? it feels lonely
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i was confused about to what extent i should be dancing "with" everyone else, opening up my awareness to include them; was my awareness supposed to just be on my own body and the music?
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i had no idea how to nonverbally invite someone else to dance with me, was very intimidated and didn't even try even with friends i knew well let alone with strangers. total mystery to me how anyone pulls this off. would've felt a lot better to dance with a partner tho :/
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favorite bit by far was a song (by bjork?) that was full of these gasping sounds, we all kinda just sat down and imitated them and started screaming, that was choice. i love screaming and i love screaming with other people. nice and relaxing. wish it could've gone longer
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In my experience which is limited yet pertinent, while there is no supposed to/should per se: Yes, awareness when dancing in such a way as to experience joy (or w/e) in oneself is decidedly focused on the interweaving of your "proprioceptive cloud" with The Music.
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Much like mindfulness, when you can pull the locus of awareness back down into the body's parts (yes really down to the level of parts) you find that there is all the sense-data you need to both dance and feel the joy arising from the intra and inter action of your parts & music.
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idk about what aella expected/wanted, but at the vibecamp one i very purposefully excluded other people from my awareness because i wanted my idea of what i was doing to come entirely from the music
i think it would be v hard to dance in that way with another person
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i actually think it's a lot of fun to dance this way with another person! i have done this with aella a handful of times and really enjoyed it, it's fun passing interpretations of the music back and forth
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