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so, this particular art installation in albany bulb is a place for people to write down their secrets. there were two journals filled with secrets that brooke and i paged through. the very first secret was a man wishing his dead daughter a happy 12th birthday
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Albany Bulb in Berkeley is really cool but between these and the disembodied mannequin legs/rusted pot windchimes I'm getting mild 'insane serial killer playground' vibes
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people wrote about feeling depressed, feeling suicidal, feeling heartbroken, not knowing who they were, looking forward to college, dreading college (b/c they’d lose their friends), how much they loved their friends, how much they loved their lovers even if they weren’t together
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someone wrote about feeling suicidal but eventually finding reasons to “stay” (😭) and asking the reader to be proud of them because nobody else could do it because nobody else could know (😭😭)
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what really got me wasn’t just the pain that all these people were in, it was that the pain was *secret*. there’s an extra layer of pain to not having anyone in your life you can talk to about how much pain you’re in
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i felt grateful for bio-emotive and my other practices. i know what it’s like to feel like there’s a pain so deep it defines your entire life and i am lucky to have found ways to move through pain like that, to grieve fully, to come out the other side. i want that for everyone
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i also felt grateful for twitter. sometimes i think the main impact i have on other people through my writing is just showing other people that it’s possible to talk about things that people don’t believe it’s possible to talk about
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what drew me to twitter initially was the same kind of thing - people were talking quite frankly about spirituality and magic and all these other topics i didn’t feel like i could talk openly about in the rationality community, it was such an incredible relief
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people are terrified that if they’re too vulnerable and honest then other people will reject them. i’m not saying that doesn’t happen but ime mostly what happens is other people feel relieved b/c you’ve given them permission to be vulnerable and honest too
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oh, also one of the secrets had an absolutely gorgeous turn of phrase, someone was writing about worrying they'd made themselves too complicated a person and wanting "to be made simple by love" 🥲🥲🥲
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