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generally speaking i find that the only way i know how to arrive at balanced moderation is to careen wildly first to one side and then the other, possibly multiple times. i like it that way. i get to really scope out the territory twitter.com/visakanv/statu…
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i find it helpful to think in terms of parts in the IFS sense here. i think a lot of particularly wild oscillations (e.g. going from being very clingy to very distant in romantic relationships) involve parts struggling for control and one part winning vs. the other