one weird thing for me about twitter is that i can talk about my internal experience and all kinds of people will say "wow, that really resonates!" and almost invariably i find they've experienced more trauma then i realized it was possible to fit into a lifetime (i...have not)
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the active ingredient is confusion, not badness
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i sort of regret using the word "trauma" so much on twitter in the past, i ran into friction as a result which i think partly came from assuming "trauma" involves really *bad* experiences. the thing i want(ed) to talk about is more about really *confusing* experiences
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ohhh THIS is a very interesting frame
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iirc you wrote a thread awhile back about being very confused about gender and gender roles etc. growing up and i think that definitely "counts"! it's a difficult thing to walk around constantly confused about, extremely disorienting
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huh i suppose so!! i seem to remember it like a thing i didn't think about much but it's p inextricably tied to the whole autism thing, and being confused about that sure seems to count
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there's something about just confusion that doesn't land for me -- I've had these "I'm not going to think about this and just Do what is right" stretches, and some of them are really nice.
I think, maybe it's about whether you suppress yourself when confused?
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maybe “deep confusion” or “existential confusion” would be a better term - i don’t mean like “huh that’s weird” more like “WHAT IS HAPPENING”