so ive been playing around with IPF and honestly i feel like the concepts of parents is too loaded and complex? I'm not sure i see the benefit of splitting Self into two masculine and feminine figures, when self can do both their jobs just fine? very open to changing my mind tho
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part of the claim as i understand it is that you actually do - there's a sort of P vs. NP claim that if you're capable of recognizing good parenting then you must have a copy of good parenting in your system somewhere to compare it to
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that's totally fair. i think this kind of stuff ultimately has to be extremely improvisational because of things like this. just whatever actually provides safety, comfort, etc. i had to do *really* weird stuff in the beginning before i started trusting my ideal mother
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once said something like "everyone's been betrayed in different ways so their trust has to be earned in different ways" which feels really relevant here (and applies part-by-part to an individual person too)
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topnotch quoting from memory
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if someone can't trust me in some way, even if I or others *do* trust me in this way
then I cannot ask them to trust me more than they can trust me
each person has been betrayed in different ways, and their trust must thus be earned in different ways
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shoulda just done the tweet search tho then i could've QT'd 😅
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it really stuck out in my mind tho, it's a good sentence!
oh! I should send you the 20k words I've written elaborating on that sentence
this doc has as its seed the exact same moment when I had the thought that led to that sentence
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I am writing a beautiful piece called "How we get there" after my friend pointed out that a vision doc of mine he'd read was uhhh lacking a plan.
It needs some examples though; it's currently hilariously abstract. Maybe I'll read it through with someone and articulate some live.
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