so ive been playing around with IPF and honestly i feel like the concepts of parents is too loaded and complex? I'm not sure i see the benefit of splitting Self into two masculine and feminine figures, when self can do both their jobs just fine? very open to changing my mind tho
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part of the claim as i understand it is that you actually do - there's a sort of P vs. NP claim that if you're capable of recognizing good parenting then you must have a copy of good parenting in your system somewhere to compare it to
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that's totally fair. i think this kind of stuff ultimately has to be extremely improvisational because of things like this. just whatever actually provides safety, comfort, etc. i had to do *really* weird stuff in the beginning before i started trusting my ideal mother
once said something like "everyone's been betrayed in different ways so their trust has to be earned in different ways" which feels really relevant here (and applies part-by-part to an individual person too)
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topnotch quoting from memory
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if someone can't trust me in some way, even if I or others *do* trust me in this way
then I cannot ask them to trust me more than they can trust me
each person has been betrayed in different ways, and their trust must thus be earned in different ways
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