so ive been playing around with IPF and honestly i feel like the concepts of parents is too loaded and complex? I'm not sure i see the benefit of splitting Self into two masculine and feminine figures, when self can do both their jobs just fine? very open to changing my mind tho
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when i do it it doesn't really matter whether or not i conceive of the ideal mother as in any sense "actually" being my mother (and she'll say she's not when asked), the real point is she's doing the things my mother should've done but didn't, it's those things that matter
i don't have very good access to Self but she does things it wouldn't occur to me to do if it were just me talking to myself, and those things have different effects specifically because i perceive them as coming from a woman. ymmv!
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also i think the split does matter but idk if everyone needs it. i think ideal mother is more for reassurance that you are safe, okay, loved, etc. and ideal father is more for lovingly encouraging you to explore the world, your strengths, your values, your capacities
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