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rewatching my old youtube videos from 2017 and earlier is shocking. i was clearly exhausted and depressed. I'm always hypervigilant about not selling grifty snake-oil solutionist bullshit to people, so I play down my own transformation, then this happens
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the problem with disguising your power levels for social reasons is, you can get too good at it and end up disguising them from yourself
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My kids report their own evolution from the first YT videos to the recent ones is also mirrored irl where they are more relaxed about their own presence
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advantage of having my YT channel: I no longer mind the sound of my voice. Seems it's a thing: my frens legit can't watch themselves on camera w/o physically cringing. I'm ok with seeing older videos where I was shy, had poor sound etc Integrating my cringe one video at a time🗿
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