Conversation

· Apr 7

crazy how i spent just 3 days in america to see my family, and got btfo by a cubic buttload of apparently unresolved “america stuff” and “family stuff” i got too cocky

i forgot how location-dependent some conditioning can be...

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i had a bunch of emotional buildup arising around being in america again, being at home, feeling the overpowering energies of my relatives. a lot of stuff wanting to release. but even in my locked room, i was averse to letting out that energy in its natural, unsuppressed, —

raw form that i’d gotten used to while living alone in japan. because there were so many people in the house and the chances of being heard (and worried about, confronted fearfully, etc) were high. my family is very religious/traditional and they would’ve been legit scared. —

ability to express raw emotional energy in a safe place, seems to be a legitimate bottleneck for the quality/amount of consciousness/open awareness/presence i’m able to maintain. i’m seeing that the alternative to just feeling whatever is arising and somatically expressing —

that raw emotion, is pretty much always gonna be some form of suppression and distraction - and that sucks :/

QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)

@QiaochuYuan

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11:56 PM · Apr 7, 2022Twitter Web App

this 100%! i actually have no idea what i would do without access to a car, i need the extra privacy so badly hoping you find a good place one way or another 🙏 in the bay i used to uber to a nearby deserted section of the beach

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ughh you feel me?? it’s p much a necessity! ubering to somewhere private is such a great idea... thanks qc! 🙏🏿