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to me it seems like resilient relationships of mutual concern will outperform illusory clout of monetizing / professionalizing friendship but maybe i’m a sentimental old wizard

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· Jan 2, 2021

I totally want to sign up for all of yalls patreon/substack/bandcamp &c — but I just want a world where everybody doesn’t have to have a hustle

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i mean look to be clear i’m not going to tell yall how i make money but it’s not pretty — my life is riven with internal contradictions — if you’ve got a grift that works i respect that, it’s all any of us can ask in this vale of tears

my point is do we really have to hurl ourselves headfirst into relations of mutual exploitation?

don't like this, don't agree that "coaching" or "mentoring" is inherently exploitative. it's just a different kind of conversation. i make different moves when i explicitly adopt a "coaching" frame with a friend and sometimes those moves accomplish a lot

i've offered free coaching to multiple friends, on multiple occasions helped friends cry about wounds involving their parents they hadn't been able to access themselves, on one occasion helped a friend deal with acute pain using IFS

it's not a substitute for the friendship it's just a different thing we can do within the friendship. i explicitly put myself away temporarily in order to make more room for them, then i come back

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and

6:53 PM · Apr 4, 2022Twitter Web App

sounds like you maybe don't believe that coaching can be very good, or like it consists of telling other people what to do / think / feel? that's not how my coaching style works at all. the whole thing is about making room for what the client / friend already thinks / feels

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thank you for taking the time to respond so clearly qc it sounds like your experience is that the coaching "frame" gives you access to a changed perspective -- perhaps even different resources? that would not be available to you if you were just hanging out like buds do?