I went to a play (sex) party last night for the first time in a while, and it was beautiful. Because I'm such a romantic, I usually just hang out with my friends at play parties. Cuddling, massaging, chatting, snacking, & observing the action. I did do that. But also -->🧵
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I erotically connected with a really nice woman this time! I feel a bit proud of myself & also satisfied. Just kissing and sensual touch, nothing fully sexual. I did feel my romantic self immediately activating, especially gazing into eachother's eyes and laughing together-->
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and that was really nice too! Sensation is so much deeper for me when love is there. But just because something is casual, doesn't mean deep feeling isn't allowed. This was a 💡moment for me. Sexual connection is mostly worthy to me if theres deep feeling, so it was meaningful-->
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to stop blocking myself in this regard. I'm allowed to create romantic sensation. I've had those feelings rejected a lot by women, so I guess that's 1 root of the block.
Another woman said in closing circle that it was her first play party ever, & mentioned a moment-->
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where she was being held by another participant and she burst into sobs because she had never felt such care, acceptance, and nonjudgement. She mentioned a neglectful childhood. Very touching.
I recommend people try a play party at least once, if you can find 1 that is-->
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filled with kind people. Even just to watch. We're animals, & I think we were meant to learn about sex by observing others. 1 highlight: head on this woman's lap, joking with the couple who were fucking hard about 20 inches away. It's nice when sex is destigmatized & silly. End🧵
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yes! honestly it's really fucked up that i've never seen any of my friends have sex
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Yes! We usually learn about sex from cultural fables or from watching a bunch of staged strangers who don't share our values and character, & who arent even expressing true physical reactions to touch. I love that my friendships are that open. Feels really normal to me.
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“who arent even expressing true physical reactions to touch” feels super key to me in particular - lot of weird fake training data in porn 😅
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I know it really sucks. Our brains are not well equipped to deal with a bunch of blatant lies broadcast at us regarding our deepest desire and pleasure. It's disorienting. Even on a neurological & subconscious level the brain is acclimating to what it sees as if it's reality
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now i’m wondering if it would be healing on some level to watch monkeys have sex 🧐
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