Conversation

QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
poll: the first two sentences of impro begin "As I grew up, everything started getting grey and dull. I could still remember the amazing intensity of the world I'd lived in as a child" - does this describe an experience you remember?
  • yes
    43.7%
  • no
    56.3%
966 votesFinal results
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
i am on team "no" myself, i don't remember childhood having special vividness or intensity :/ hard to know how much of this is that my memories generally lack sensory / experiential detail. wonder if there's something i forgot i could remember here 🧐
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Vivienne
@EcstaticFemme
Yeah it's usually some somatic shock that throws me into a realization of how much more open my body used to be when small. Like a smell or a flash of certain color or words that triggers a body sensation. When it happens, I can feel my physical experience was intense back then
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Vivienne
@EcstaticFemme
Yes it's very rare, spontaneous. Something that reaches my subconscious mind. Then I think over the unlocked new memory trying to reach more of it, and marvel at how relatively clogged up my nervous system is in the state of "adult conscious Vivienne." Its actually frustrating
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Vivienne
@EcstaticFemme
Example: something triggered a memory of a pink crayon. I was obsessed with this crayon, it was profoundly delicate and precious to me like a treasure. The color was near too beautiful to use. I had no memory of this pink crayon obsession before the non verbal memory surfaced
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Vivienne
@EcstaticFemme
But I could feel my awe, fascination, and adoration. And my perception that it was very valuable, even though now I know it was worth pennies. Very brief sensation, lots to ruminate on afterwards
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