thinking about this old blog post of mine where i wonder whether attachments (in the attachment theory sense) were intended for your entire tribe, in the context of post- reflections
thicketforte.com/2018/07/05/mea
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people talk about how "nobody else can give you the love you need, you need to give it to yourself" but i wonder if this is in part a hacky substitute for having the love of an entire tribe, adapted to the needs of modernity. maybe one person can't do it but 50? 150?
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there's a segment of the podcast ep with and where we discuss what is imo one of the biggest features vibecampers have in common: underestimating the shit out of themselves
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NEW FUCKING PODCASTS HAVE ARRIVED, by POPULAR DEMAND
EPISODE ONE FT. @QiaochuYuan
TELL UR FRIENDS
links below
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i hope lots of people got nice compliments that went some way towards reversing this but it's not enough. i think vibecampers underestimate themselves because they aren't surrounded by friends who can *continuously* reflect their strengths back at them
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genuine, specific, detailed compliments are shockingly rare, especially for men, and ime literally everyone loves getting them. it is actually fine, no seriously, really. you can easily make someone’s day if not week or month!!!
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it's *possible* to get really good at loving yourself, it's *possible* to get really good at knowing your own strengths, but maybe it would be a lot easier to just let other people love you and know you, maybe that's part of what a tribe is for
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I think it’s the closest 1-3 people and then close 5-10 with whom we are able to know and trust each other deeply enough to provide care for our most vulnerable needs, but the tribe allows us to fill + refill those circles. “Loved ones” and “chosen family” make the secure base.
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Replying to @reconfigurthing
There’s security in having a rich pool to draw from for creating closer connections and replenishing them when you inevitably become less close with someone. The tribe increases the odds that people around you are those who you could be close with, care for, and get care from.
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Something about this seems right to me 🤔
Something about the way we (contemporarily) talk about self love does seem uniquely/particularly "of the times"