ok, I've been trying really hard for the past weeks but things just don't feel right. A deeply damaging situation [both cognitively (not trusting my sensemaking ability) and emotionally] has made me unable to feel at home on Twitter anymore.
26
2
56
Conversation
It doesn't feel safe, it doesn't feel welcoming. I've been avoiding the timeline because anything that reminds me of the situation I was in makes me feel like I'm choking. I don't want to leave Twitter, there are so many of you around that I like, admire, and care for.
3
26
Expressing those feelings publicly is my way of trying to feel safe again, trying to convince myself that it's ok to do so, in a social landscape that — simply because I'm a man — feels unwilling to take my pain & vulnerability seriously.
Quote Tweet
The presumption of male-as-aggressor and female-as-victim remains culturally unassailable, despite the new asymmetries. So many men - including me, and many I know - have been deeply damaged by female aggression, with absolutely no prospect for justice or recourse.
Show this thread
1
1
35
I feel like I'm splitting, knowing the deep damage inflicted on me & seeing the symptoms of abuse, while simultaneously having little hope for any sort of wider understanding or any semblance of "justice". I feel confused, disoriented, ungrounded.
1
1
23
I hope we will all do better. Women need to be holding other women accountable for damaging behavior — as do men. This community is not just virtual, it's not a mere "experience". There are real people here, people that feel, hurt, and love.
Quote Tweet
I also hope more women start socially confronting other women when they see abusive behavior, in the exact same way that some men will physically confront a man who assaults or bullies women.
But honestly, I'm not holding my breath. Not because women in particular are evil...
Show this thread
1
25
Sadly I know I'm not the only person with an experience like this around here. So please, let's take care of each other — we are not (& can not be) perfect, but we can talk to each other, we can welcome vulnerability, we can be considerate of how our actions affect each other.
1
24
I don't know what else to say — Please do not ask me more about the situation, it's not about the situation itself. It's about me sharing my feelings and hoping that Twitter will, at some point, start to feel safe again.
2
27
Replying to
really glad you’re writing about this man 🙏