Conversation
prior to that i assumed i had built up a sizeable enough vocabulary i could describe my feelings precisely and accurately which like, of course i hadn't
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it's not just about learning words, but attaching them to experience
sometimes it's an old word you're finally able to contextualize, or a brand new string of them you hadn't thought to order that way before
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a child might not have all the words they require to tell you how they're feeling, but they'll use the words they do have to reach the closest possible truth
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it's a method of play, and it circles around to why i have that childlike feeling again
i don't want to simply know what i'm feeling, but what that feeling is, how best to describe it
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i wanna chase feelings down rabbit holes and see what memories they dredge up
i wanna know their True Names, whether that's a metaphor or a simple term
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i wanna have that moment all over again of "what's that word? joy? i guess i feel joyful"
just like the first time i turned over a mossy log and found a salamander crawling beneath it
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feeling the same way this guy felt
or at least knowing how to do it
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