maybe this is obvious but the reason socializing is exhausting is because it involves constant modelling of other people which is very cognitively demanding
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you actually don't have to cognitively model anyone in a conversation ever, depending on autism level or w/e you can learn to talk entirely based on vibes
i tend to think the underlying exhausting thing, besides the raw amount of new significant input to pay attention to, is that most people are constantly suppressing a lot of emotional reactions they have to things in conversation - bits of anger, sadness, fear, etc.
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i would sort of fold "constantly cognitively modeling everyone" into this b/c i think the underlying emotion that powers that behavior is a kind of anxious fear of losing track of the conversation, saying the wrong thing, etc.
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I think I disagree, imo vibes are just subconscious modelling
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sure, but 1) it's not very cognitive and 2) ime it's not very exhausting either
on sunday night i was having a great conversation with despite running on maybe 3 hours of sleep for the last 5 nights and feeling cognitively exhausted. 100% vibes
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ya I pretty much agree. my head used to heat up in groups like an overclocked cpu
these days I just anchor myself in the vibe I want to occupy and then open the tap and let it flow
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"On vibes" means the process the OP finds so exhausting is carried out unconsciously, as it should be.
But OP's mind isn't doing that, and so his conscious mind is occupied with the task, which does sound tiring.
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