i did a lot of walking around alone at vibecamp having a sort of quiet communication with my baby, hoping its alive and growing, wanted to ask many people to touch my belly but was afraid to, like if i lose this one i might be inviting them to care in a way that could hurt
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but i am critical of this fear, also not quite sure that's exactly what it is, since i think that kind of invitation is what i want to make and what could be good for a lot of folks who i'd love to love in more complete and lasting ways (i want to love so many people this way)
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so maybe it's something else that had me holding back, and maybe one day i'll be better at asking for help figuring out what it is
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