last night was the first big party i’ve been to since before lockdown and good lord it was good but a lot. my memory has apparently gotten worse; got people’s names wrong, misremembered past conversations 😅
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also! thanks to an anonymous benefactor i was able to try a dose of oxytocin. subtle but nice; everyone’s faces became more interesting and i became more friendly and interested in everyone, fun way to be at a party, and some of the effect seems to be persisting?
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this is a bit more embarrassing to talk about but - i noticed myself making some snap “high school popularity”-type judgments about who seemed more or less “cool,” then ignored them and talked to almost everyone - everyone was very cool and interesting, screw high school
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as a person who completely changed social circles multiple times in my life - middle school, college, grad school - it always shocks me when i meet people i knew from one context in a second context. like whoa contexts can be connected! conversations i had years ago matter!
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every time that happens i am reminded of the value of being genuinely friendly to people - people remember it, they appreciate it, in some cases it starts a chain of events that totally alters their life trajectory. powerful. being an asshole is weaksauce in comparison
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I do this too - like create a mental leader board according to how "cool" or high-status every1 seems & then avoid the "cool" ppl bcs I can never match their coolness & I don't want to feel bad abt it.
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It is annoying & I want to reduce making such snappy judgments bcs I feel I'm either putting them on a pedestal or demonizing them.
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