do y'all actually know people who've been in therapy for like 5+ years and it doesn't seem to be helping them very much? i keep hearing about these people but i don't actually know any. what kind of therapy do they do?
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never 'in therapy for 5+ years' but 'in therapy for 6mo to a year several times'
but there's always this point where i ask 'hey, how freely can i talk about suicide and or murder' and they give me an honest answer and that's the end of the relationship.
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i don't even bring it up with therapists
which is a shame because like, if the rules around therapy don't allow us to actually explore the REAL deep dark corners of our psyches in an ACTUALLY safe space, that means I can't let myself be unguarded, ever
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> I can't let myself be unguarded, ever
that part
also the way that part becomes it's own self-reinforcing personality island
and most of the 'objective' external input is in agreement, because anyone else who empathizes is also not-talking about it
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this has been the main thing keeping me from seeking a therapist. It's like, I've handled most of the garden variety issues and the medium-to-large stuff
What's left is some shit that I'd love to talk about and process with a licensed professional but will prob need to censor
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this kind of thing is definitely a part of why i'm so obsessive about self-therapy, and also about like "rogue therapy" that takes place without any kind of institution or legal structure. obviously it presents a different set of risks but the potential for full realness is there
*sniffing mdma* were on that Rogue Therapy, fkin UNderground Shadow work. Ouija boarding ghost of Jung n shit. No legal structures MAN no INSTITUTIONS just you me and the fucking TRUTH...and this bag of moli
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I long for raw underground community healers!!!! Like "take this MDMA we're deep diving your trauma might break a few laws while we're at it also there's a pot of your fav chili in the fridge we just need to heat it up"
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I feel that. The institutionalized therapeutic relationship feels like an extension of the penal system and not a space designed for healing. It feels like it's ossified into prescriptions-that-make-you-a-better-worker or imprisonment, despite clinicians' best efforts
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> prescriptions-that-make-you-a-better-worker or imprisonment
i wrote 3 different 'take's but i'll just say 'that part' again
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also you can find some non-cop therapists who are willing to be flexible
the Dark Therapy network of rogue agents embedded in the system who seem to toe the line but what goes on behind those closed doors is anyone's guess
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