i have a lot of resistance to metta / loving-kindness practices, or any kind of deliberate cultivation of positive emotion, and i think a lot of it has to do with feeling like as a kid i was constantly pressured into pretending i was happier and more satisfied than i was
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One thing I’ve noticed is that whatever coping mechanism I was forced to do has a ton of resentment around it, but when I let myself run very hard away from it til I find the limits of its extreme opposite, I’m better able to come back and find the healthy form of both.
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that careening lifestyle
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generally speaking i find that the only way i know how to arrive at balanced moderation is to careen wildly first to one side and then the other, possibly multiple times. i like it that way. i get to really scope out the territory twitter.com/visakanv/statu…
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