sometime during middle school i started sucking in my gut all the time to look skinnier. probably one of the worst decisions i ever made - i think it constricted my breathing, made me slightly more anxious all the time, and possibly reduced access to some emotions
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starting to undo that tension and wow it makes my belly stick out a lot. also reminds me that around the same time i started hunching my shoulders to de-emphasize my man-boobs 😅 that tension is probably gonna come up sooner or later too
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o heck i think this is much of the reason my posture is so garbage (de-emphasizing my woman-boobs) 😬😬😬 i should really stop it's not like i'm fooling anyone lol
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might be a sexual thing actually, i really have no idea, seems hard to disentangle those two things actually (don't want to be perceived as female/don't want to be perceived as sexual outside of the context of a relationship)
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