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at some point when i was an impressionable young lad i heard some shit like “men think about sex every 7 seconds” and whether this was intended or not i was left with the impression that this was bad, so i decided to never think about sex
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i also had another rule where i couldn’t sexually fantasize about anyone i knew, which included my girlfriends 😅 it sounds silly but i have had to slowly work my way towards feeling allowed to have sexual fantasies, over the course of the last 5 or so years
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I promised myself when I was 13 that I would never sexually fantasize about anyone I knew, and I kept that promise for 13 years. In relationships I tried to be a rom-com lead - charming words, big gestures, declarations of love, etc. It sort of worked, but not for long.
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