Any tips for a "healthy" way to respond when people ask you to justify your desires?
Person: Do you want to do X?
Me: No
Person: Why not?
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what happens if you shrug and say "I just don't"
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Big mix of responses
Some ppl would tell me that I'm wrong & that I do actually want it, they know better
Some tell me why I should want it
Others berate me for not wanting it
Others would say "fair enough"
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first 3 categories can fuck right off tbh 😤
yeah at this point I would no longer give a shit about "making the other person feel respected"
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I'm looking for a speech pattern that makes the other person feel respected while simply expressing that I'm abiding by my felt sense & have zero desire to dig deeper than that in a given moment
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Fair!
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Yes I think this is the problem 😂
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Replying to @byrdbrnz
Who are these people that are good with boundaries you speak of? 
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fwiw i talk about several different therapy things but what made the biggest difference for me personally wrt boundary-setting and other anxious attachment things was ideal parent figure protocol by a *big* margin
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3. ideal parent figure protocol (IPFP). this stuff is so powerful i'm often scared to do it. i barely did a tiny bit of it awhile back and it made like 30% of my anxious attachment relax. i'm dipping back into it more now and it's amazing
amazon.com/Attachment-Dis
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Then there's the honestly-curious about your preference-clusters people- "Do you dislike the movie because it's a horror movie, or because it's about ghosts, or both? I wanna know so I can calibrate future suggestions." 1/
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I'm not saying people have a right to this info if you don't wanna share it or anything, but this does seem different- more plausibly cooperative- than demanding justification.
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