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"It's almost as if my brain is reprogramming itself to give more association in memory to these experiences while on oxytocin and less association to those old traumatic experiences."
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"I just caught it by accident but it seems like you could make the trauma lessened by repeating the trigger while on oxytocin but have the trigger lead to a positive outcome instead of a bad one." ‼️
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"I had thought of something sad and my face automatically went into sad expressions and my eyes started going into tear mode. I also was unable to stop looking at my wife's face for like an hour during our daily sexdown." DAILY SEXDOWN
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he starts spontaneously and completely involuntarily experiencing normal facial expressions. these are all things that many "high functioning" autistics have to overcome by sheer force of will. i had to learn through practice and study how to make 'natural' facial expressions
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let me say something about why i find this so exciting: the fact that a single person was able to have this experience, even if it doesn't end up replicating easily, shows that *the neural circuitry for all this stuff is not missing*
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Replying to @QiaochuYuan @hyperdiscogirl and @sunofdopamine
even if oxytocin or w/e doesn't pan out as a single-use miracle i could imagine it working well in combination with other things like MDMA and good therapy. it's already fascinating to me to know that it could work at all; that means there's no *missing neural circuitry*
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and that whatever is going on it's more like some kind of low-level global setting gets tuned weirdly. since that setting is apparently affected by oxytocin, maybe it's something like "degree to which other people and self seem like friendly humans" but who knows
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back to the reddit guy. he talks about getting tremors from memories of having sex with his wife! if someone had taught him how to do somatic experiencing at this exact moment he might've had a really good time shaking
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by day 8 he's had so much sex with his wife that he's feeling "drained, sexually" although by day 9 "wife seems kinda disappointed when [the sex is] over" lmao i'm so happy for them
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day 11 "gaining new abilities with regard to sensing touch in my peripheral limbs," "flexibility is off the charts and I am doing stuff that would make yoga people impressed, but it's not yoga; I'm just trying to move to a position that relieves the knots" e m b o d i m e n t
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(but personally i am much more interested in oxytocin for C-PTSD than for autism as such, and there's also apparently a whole literature about oxytocin and PTSD)
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speculative followup
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so now that i've had some time to calm down a bit let me do a slightly more sober thread where i speculate about what might have been going on with oxytocin guy and what kind of sense self-experimentation with oxytocin might or might not make twitter.com/QiaochuYuan/st…
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