if there's one thing i've learned from writing about her childcare experiences it's that i really owe it to my hypothetical future wife to repair my relationship with my parents so they can be roped into childcare for our hypothetical future kids
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wonder if this is this something women think about in the dating scene? "yeah he's good at sex and got a big heart but does he also have a good relationship with his parents so they can look after our kid(s) for a weekend"
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tbh I have always cared about relationships to parents but for other reasons
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agreed - a person's inability to maintain constructive relations with their parents is 1 of the easiest ways to identify people i'd rather avoid. your parents, in their full glory + shame - are the human vectors for your entrance to this life. if you cant respect them, ill pass
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frankly i consider this position incredibly disrespectful of the level of abuse some people have experienced from their parents. i know people who have restraining orders
I hear you - and i respect that viewpoint. you are correct in that such situations unfortunately exist that are absolutely grotesque. But generally speaking, its a very good filter.
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Replying to @i_is_tyler @lisatomic5 and @QiaochuYuan
Huh, I really *should* have run for the hills when that woman I was obsessed with dunked on both her ex and her dad multiple times during the first two dates
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I’d love to maintain a close relationship with my parents. I envy what my partner has. Unfortunately it’s hard to do that when they can’t avoid deadnaming and misgendering me every ten minutes several years into my transition, among other issues. Not a priori abusive, but…
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but further - you could be removed from your parents, yet still maintain relations with your extended family. usually distance from family/parents is indicative of a type of laziness of Soul that refuses to compromise to those that most need grace and compassion.
+ one more further subtweet - trust me when i say that i intimately know family trauma, and have seen the absolute destruction it can lead to. + ive seen the power overcoming and resolving that trauma can have. i'm not denying trauma exists - im challenging the individual to rise