When parents yell at you about a thing, they’re alienating you from actually learning the thing.
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“&#@* GABBLE GABBLE you LOST the thing??? how could you it was expensive???!!!”
The child learns what they must fear is their parent’s reaction to the thing, not the thing itself.
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Of course they do. When you’re that small, your parent’s reaction is much more real and visceral a danger to you.
Of course your body learns to correctly and accurately prioritise learning that fear, over anything else.
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The problem with that fear is as children grow up, they correctly come to care less about getting yelled at.
Then they find they are just insensitive to the world.
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They never learned the micro-sensitivity to attune to the micro-problem of losing a couple $10 bucks in the world.
Their nervous system was focused on a pain much larger and more immediate.
You.
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this reminds of of the thing that stuck out to be about 's acid thread from a while ago "living in a world where my parents feelings towards me were the realest thing"
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acidQC said - the rest of these have been paraphrases but this one is a direct quote:
"your parents created a world for you where the most real thing was how they felt about you. they successfully used money to make everything else less real by protecting you from it"
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that! and on a micro level, trying to impart a lesson by being Stern and Serious (extreme version is yelling) creates a situation where the Adult is just way more real that the actual object level thing.
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