Idk man, it’s also unempathetic to believe that you should expect every kind of emotional expression to have a neutral/positive effect on every situation
There are two sides to this coin and I wonder if you’re missing the other one
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genuinely not sure what you even think im saying based on this reply lol ill make it simple: you are a bad person if you think less of someone for crying. i also think she has every right to be a bad person, thats what america is all about.
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Ok!
But
She never said she thought less of them on like the level of the soul, it’s about attraction
Attraction and altruism are just not consistent, and you’re in for heartbreak if you expect them to be
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you might have a point if she didn't say explicitly that she thinks men who cry are "less dependable," how is that not thinking less of someone?
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It is genuinely the case that if you can’t negotiate your emotions to the extent required to limit their expression in certain situations, it’s a good signal that you’re less reliable
I know this partially because I’ve been both people, and frequently crying me was unreliable
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you're operating under the assumption that crying isn't a healthy way to process emotions, which is just fundamentally untrue. not crying is a literal trauma response and her trying to litigate the sexiest amount of trauma is offensive and disgusting
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Crying is a healthy way to process your emotions
But you are not in a healthy place if you are unable to control the venues in which you process your emotions, and are not cognizant of the effect that your emotions have on others
I will die on that hill
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one thing that i think i've consistently underestimated about how other people are affected by this stuff is that people default to experiencing other people's strong emotions as coercive. like demanding that they respond in a specific way
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i had specific training in how not to do this through circling, where you learn how to just let other people's strong emotions sit and be digested by the group
but other peeps might be flashing back to manipulative parents and exes and stuff 😬
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oh wow i would love to do a lot more circling because i def struggle with exactly that
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