Starting to think that maybe mutual respect is the secret ingredient in every successful relationship I’ve seen
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I read this and then read the antidotes post also and now I need approximately 1 hr to go sit in the corner staring at the wall and think about this
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it’s some real shit right? fwiw i think the analysis of how relationships go wrong in richard schwartz’s “you are the one you’ve been waiting for” subsumes this and is even better
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"When that love stops flowing, even momentarily, we
get scared and go to work on one of three projects. The first two of these are designed to get our partner back into that loving redeemer role. The third project is to give up on that endeavor and find alternatives."
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i see richard in this context as giving a compelling answer to the question: “where do you find genuine respect in yourself for your partner?” (as opposed to either trying to force it or giving up when it disappears)