serious question for men who’ve been in relationships with women, not gonna elaborate on context for the time being but might later: how do you hold women responsible / accountable for ways they’ve hurt you? (in your own sensemaking at least, not necessarily confronting them)
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okay this was a little too vague so in a bit more detail: i have a lot of trouble getting angry at women for hurting me, generally speaking i take on all the blame myself, there’s something wonky here about treating women as perfect blameless angels or as like moral children
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it's a tightrope walk. usually just repress it, occasionally blow up. but there's a correct amount of anger, enough that lets you say Hey It Hurt When You Did That, you're allowed to feel however, but fyi I was hurt
don't k ow how to reliably find the balance
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