serious question for men who’ve been in relationships with women, not gonna elaborate on context for the time being but might later: how do you hold women responsible / accountable for ways they’ve hurt you? (in your own sensemaking at least, not necessarily confronting them)
Conversation
this might be a privileged position or something but I literally just talk about it. “Yo, do you remember when you did X? Do you know it made me Y?”
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what if uhhh hypothetically speaking you haven’t talked in several years
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done this too- I work up to it, ask to chat and catch up for old times sake, get some vibe alignment first. whether I bring it up in the same conversation or in the next one depends on how the vibe goes
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there are maybe like 3 people that I’m still sort of waiting to pass time on before reaching out, and incidentally they’re all women. 🤔 with guys I feel more confident being straight up like “yo u cheeky bastard mf I need to talk abt my feelings”
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oof. i actually feel super uncomfortable doing this with either men or women but for different reasons i think 😅
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u cheeky bastard mf u need to talk about your feelings
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well with men it’s like i’ve tried to have this conversation and i never ever feel like they’re listening to me so i gave up, and with women i mostly haven’t tried
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hrm that sucks
I would consider asking a trusted friend to role-play as the dude(s) you wanna talk to
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Replying to
i’ve worked through some of it just yelling at imagined versions of them but yeah i could imagine roleplay being a whole extra thing