the ideal parent connection is worth elaborating on in a bit more detail - they talk about "five elements of secure attachment" and the one that surprised me the most was "unconditional support for explorations." like imagine smiling at a baby as they learn how to walk
Conversation
when unconditional support for explorations is missing people grow up terrified of stepping outside of their comfort zones. sound like anyone you know 😅 (it's me, i'm people)
2
1
23
to expand it out a little, according to the ideal parent guys, one of the things your parents were supposed to do was beam love and support at you as you explored the world and tried new things. this is part of the natural learning process
1
19
i've been working with a few clients on, for lack of a better word, math trauma, and in every case so far there was nothing even remotely like "unconditional support for explorations" - one of them was actively punished for exploring 😰
2
26
it's been really wild to see, feels like a whole aspect of the human experience has been slowly rotating into view the more i work with these clients. *learning* can be disrupted by *attachment wounds*
2
29
does a lot of cool stuff in his short snippet of self-dialogue i QT'd the other day, there's a moment here where he congratulates a part for drawing an image of a tree, you can catch moments of unconditional delight in there too
Quote Tweet
Replying to @nickcammarata @visakanv and 2 others
feel can you do it? Flash it in our mind. Wow that’s beautiful that makes so much sense, I love the waves on the side like that ....
Okay that’s like a random 30 second livestream. Except almost none of it is lingual it’s mostly just feelings. Maybe 20% lingual
1
10
it's maybe not good to analyze this stuff in too much detail because it's not as if you can replicate it by replicating the details. if i've learned anything about self-love it's that i already have a vision of the kind of self-love that feels real to me and it's really personal
1
10
in conclusion: help me think of greek letters for my inner fraternity so i can chant them to myself, thank you
2
16
oh duh i'm just gonna use my actual fraternity. theta xi! theta xi! theta xi! theta xi!
1
15
What a lovely thread! I’m really appreciating folks sharing their inner IFS practices. I never tried the forced congratulations thing, but I have been shocked at times when my parts spontaneously express deep gratitude for self-leadership.
2
4
Replying to
ayyy yeah spontaneous expressions of gratitude!