without porn and paying attention to sensation i started noticing various things. i was told to pay attention to tension in my legs in particular and indeed i noticed i tensed the hell out of my legs while masturbating, and tried to stop
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the big thing i noticed was what feeling overwhelmed by sexual energy felt like. i was told to look out for this; the practice was supposed to eventually increase my capacity to hold prana, or something like that
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i don't really know how to describe it but you can experience it for yourself by just trying it, or getting really horny some other way
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this next but i don't remember clearly but one day while doing this and feeling the large amounts of sexual energy, i did some unexplainable motion of "taking the brakes off" and suddenly started shaking a crapton
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there are parts of my process or my practice or w/e you wanna call it that are actually pretty important but idk how to talk about them. one is a move that is like “allowing the body to do what it wants” and that’s where all the shaking and hyperventilating come from
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i really wish i could explain it better than that. i felt overwhelmed, somehow i found a lever inside me that seemed relevant to that, i pulled the lever to see what would happen. shake shake shake shake shake shake
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i don't think i really understood what was going on there at the time. now i think they were basically trauma shakes related to sexual trauma, the kind of shaking peter levine talks about wrt somatic experiencing. very sadly i do not have a good link for introducing this concept
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the shakes vary a lot in how "automatic" they feel vs. how much i'm "doing" them or like, holding open a door so they can come out. with trauma release exercises (TRE) i was occasionally able to have almost completely automatic-feeling shakes but mostly it's partly "manual"
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i don't really know how to describe what it feels like. it sometimes feels like something good and natural is happening and i just have to let it keep happening, like a cry or a poop. sometimes like that + more "friction," like more resistance to it
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i stopped shaking for awhile because the "friction" sensation didn't feel entirely safe and indeed apparently there are risks here talks about sometimes
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Replying to @SarahAMcManus and @harveykrishna_
Yes, that and also just teaching people this technique and then sending them off on their own to practise can end up with someone unlocking this vast reservoir of energy with no regulation skills. They can end up perpetually shaking for example
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for me now the shaking is something i dip into and out of to metabolize a particular kind of energy that isn't at all specific to sex, and it feels cleaner and smoother and safer which is great. but this sexual practice is how i found it first
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if i had a suggestion for someone who was interested in shaking it miiight be to do a trauma release exercise, there are videos on youtube but the one i was using was taken down, and idk what safety warnings are appropriate so proceed at your own risk
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I’ve done stuff like this (shaking). Just don’t bang yer head!
My layman’s understanding is that shaking/tremoring is a way for the body to integrate potentially overwhelming sensations. Like a pendulum or titration. I’m more drawn to yoga now but it was helpful for a time.
np, it was indeed super interesting, and very fun 😛
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