Conversation

QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
okay so i've been asked for more details about the sexual practice i mentioned the other day. in short, the practice is to masturbate for ~20m without porn and without allowing yourself to ejaculate, just paying attention to sensation
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desire path(s)
@desirepaths_
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Replying to @QiaochuYuan
oh got it, yeah. what was it to redirect or shake the built up energy? where did it go / how did it move / what did I t feel like?
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
(disclaimer before we start, i have no idea what this practice might be like for cis women or for trans people, sadly can only speak to my own experience as a cis man here)
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
for starters i found that when i did this i became much hornier than i'd ever been before. which was really fun! so horny that i occasionally couldn't stop myself from ejaculating before 20m. which was also really fun 😛
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
without porn and paying attention to sensation i started noticing various things. i was told to pay attention to tension in my legs in particular and indeed i noticed i tensed the hell out of my legs while masturbating, and tried to stop
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
the big thing i noticed was what feeling overwhelmed by sexual energy felt like. i was told to look out for this; the practice was supposed to eventually increase my capacity to hold prana, or something like that
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
this next but i don't remember clearly but one day while doing this and feeling the large amounts of sexual energy, i did some unexplainable motion of "taking the brakes off" and suddenly started shaking a crapton
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
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there are parts of my process or my practice or w/e you wanna call it that are actually pretty important but idk how to talk about them. one is a move that is like “allowing the body to do what it wants” and that’s where all the shaking and hyperventilating come from
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
i really wish i could explain it better than that. i felt overwhelmed, somehow i found a lever inside me that seemed relevant to that, i pulled the lever to see what would happen. shake shake shake shake shake shake
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
i don't think i really understood what was going on there at the time. now i think they were basically trauma shakes related to sexual trauma, the kind of shaking peter levine talks about wrt somatic experiencing. very sadly i do not have a good link for introducing this concept
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
the shakes vary a lot in how "automatic" they feel vs. how much i'm "doing" them or like, holding open a door so they can come out. with trauma release exercises (TRE) i was occasionally able to have almost completely automatic-feeling shakes but mostly it's partly "manual"
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
Replying to
@QiaochuYuan
i stopped shaking for awhile because the "friction" sensation didn't feel entirely safe and indeed apparently there are risks here
@hormeze
talks about sometimes
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Hormeze ❤️‍🔥🥲
@hormeze
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Replying to @SarahAMcManus and @harveykrishna_
Yes, that and also just teaching people this technique and then sending them off on their own to practise can end up with someone unlocking this vast reservoir of energy with no regulation skills. They can end up perpetually shaking for example
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
for me now the shaking is something i dip into and out of to metabolize a particular kind of energy that isn't at all specific to sex, and it feels cleaner and smoother and safer which is great. but this sexual practice is how i found it first
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