i might say: you can try expanding your conception of what “counts as” meditation until it includes things you enjoy
Conversation
meditation does not have to involve sitting down, you do not have to be still, you do not have to be quiet, you do not have to be alone, you do not have to be in a group, you do not have to be inside, you do not have to control your thoughts, you do not have to control anything
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I had a great conversation once with where I was saying I had trouble staying still, and he said a lot of traditional “meditation instructions” were better understood as instructions for meditating near a bunch of other people without disturbing your neighbors 🤔.
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i mostly hated meditating at the monastery for exactly this reason - couldn’t stand needing to not disturb the others. my favorite sits were when i had a covid scare and was quarantined in my room to sit solo. hugely relieving