i wonder about the psychological role of diagnosis
i've heard this pattern before. diagnosis gives you…absolution?
you're still the SAME EXACT person; but now there's a label in the DSM for the kind of person you are, so you no longer hate yourself
a curious phenomenon
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i have wondered about this for a while but my thoughts about it never quite come together. there is a kind of need to become acceptable or legible to one's self and others, a way to avoid blame or to at least have a better story about one's self than "i am fundamentally bad"
Absolutely. Apart from blame/self-story... I remember someone close to me believing that I've hurt them by pure choice and not because of a trait I didn't know how to deal with, and mentioning it sometimes. It hurt to listen to, and some legibility would've helped -_-
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it intersects with self-story, but there's a decent portion of "this person who's important to me doesn't have any better explanations for what I did, so they can only assume malice, and I wish they didn't have to live with that assumption about a person who's close to them"
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when I realized I had “depression,” that legibility gave me hope. I suddenly realized it was something I could maybe fix. it didn’t change (just) the “I am fundamentally bad” story, but the “life is fundamentally bad” story. I found hope to be a good distraction from self blame
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