Is there a way to learn non-coercion without coercing yourself into the learning?
Given you can't non-coerce yourself into non-coercion if you don't know how to non-coerce
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I think everyone knows non-coercion to some degree, given our familiarity with coercion and how badly that works out for us.
The point is to not feel obligated to accept anything as true or comply to external pressures because expectation can be coercive. 😊
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It also helps to know that you will screw things up in trying to implement non-coercion (I struggle with it a LOT with my kids).
Not setting a high standard for yourself it get everything right perfectly, immediately, is a gentler, non-coercive attitude to non-coercion.
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The bit I struggle with is, I believe there are techniques that can unlock the ability to more frequently live by means of non-coercion
But I find it very hard to non-coercively start 😅
I imagine this is an issue of patience
Waiting for non-coercive opportunities to arise
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i’ve had to be extremely patient yeah. up to and including doing apparently almost nothing for months
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A few months ago I burnt myself out on "healing" by coercively pushing myself into doing too much emotional processing & skill training at once
Has taken months of pulling back on all of it before I feel I can now start touching things again
Hopefully more patiently this time 😅
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yepyepyep, i have never regretted going slower
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Wow thanks for sharing this
Keep trying to convince myself to be like the tortoise not the hare, but so hard to internalise
Was actually warned to slow down but couldn't be convinced until I'd stretched myself too far
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I think I'm scared if I go too slow I'll just stop
Does this ever concern you?
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sort of? i think there’s a natural rhythm and pace one can learn to tune into but it’s interrupted by, like, the pace of civilization so it’s hard to tune into the more you’re tuned into civilization. like the pace of a tree as opposed to the pace of a car
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sometimes i am scared of being too slow by civilizational standards (like e.g. the gap on my resume where i’m not working grows steadily larger) but when i feel more stable and confident about where i really want to go that matters less to me