like i’ve sort of been forced to become interested in psychology because it’s been so clear for such a long time that that’s where all my real bottlenecks are. obviously other people can have very different bottlenecks but maybe this will be helpful perspective on me
Conversation
ah what i’m describing in this thread is a kind of collapsed awareness. like simultaneously my awareness collapses onto the current item and also i am blocking out the feelings it generates from my awareness?
Quote Tweet
[guy who has definitely never studied alexander technique] what if EVERYTHING is collapsed awareness
Show this thread
1
31
in grad school the current item was often “work on thesis” and that one would just get stuck there like most of the time in the background, for literal years. not coincidentally in grad school i had mild asthma almost all the time and really persistent coughs 🙃
2
33
also not coincidentally, grad school is when i started using to-do list software and tried out systems like GTD in order to be “””more productive””” (three guesses whether this worked or not)
1
32
don’t mind me just out here slowly working through my feelings about to-do lists because of course i have fucking feelings about to-do lists ugh jesus 😩
1
37
“adhd is often characterized as forgetting what needs to be done but actually I always know exactly what I ought to do and that’s why I feel so awful” 😔
Quote Tweet
Replying to @QiaochuYuan
yes adhd is often characterized as forgetting what needs to be done but actually I always know exactly what I ought to do and that’s why I feel so awful and it makes my agency into a fucked up tangle of self-loathing and escapism
2
5
58
this is another great observation, “spamming the queue.” i find i do this with video games in particular - much more comfy for the current item to be whatever the next step in the current quest is or w/e than an irl task
Quote Tweet
Replying to @QiaochuYuan
i also recently noticed myself sorta “spamming” my queue when i’m feeling avoidant
like, “oh i really need to get some food before i can keep working” even though maybe i’m not even that hungry
maybe: the queue is oppressive, leading to small acts of internal rebellion
1
34
[guy who is only slightly hypomanic i promise] let’s solve ADHD
3
29
i suppose it would be churlish of me to write something like this without offering any actual advice about how to have feelings, i have old threads about this but for now i'll just link to bio-emotive which is still one of my main practices
2
1
18
...your threads are signifincantly cheaper than $297
1
2
Replying to
the guidebooks are good and there's also free content under the "free" tab on the top!