the amount of healing i do seems negatively correlated with my ability to relate to my parents and this hurts a lot
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the polyvagal curve stuff says that the process of breaking out of freeze involves passing through fight / flight; that means, somewhat counterintuitively, that going from feeling frozen towards your parents to feeling viciously angry and hateful is an *improvement*
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Oooh wow. I just went from frozen to furious recently and thought Iād regressed
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furious means thawing! good luck š