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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
i tried imagining my ideal future and it was "i'm on the beach and all my ex-girlfriends love me again" which... 🤔
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Made in Cosmos 🌻
@made_in_cosmos
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Just met husband’s mom. In the last few months she lost 30lbs, practiced yoga daily without a single miss, quit carbs, started learning English, and is now on her way to quitting smoking. Her secret? Every day on commute she imagines her ideal future in vivid detail.
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
idk like i actually don't know how to relate to this. a lot of the things i want seem like 1) they would be socially destructive for me to actually try to get and 2) seem symbolic of other stuff / pretty much about psychodrama anyway
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
the period in my life where i went after what i wanted most directly ended up revealing a lot of deep confusions in those wants and i haven't figured out what to do with that. specifically: when will my wants be "good enough" to directly object-level pursue
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
i think it was right and good of me to slow down and be like "wtf is going on" and try to untangle some of those confusions but it's been years and meanwhile i've like banned myself from going after what i want which...? maybe time to stop doing that a bit??? idk man
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QC (in Berlin 7/29-???)
@QiaochuYuan
like look. some people follow their dreams all the way to starting a cult and doing incredible amounts of damage to a bunch of other people and it matters to me that i don't fuck up that badly
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Visa ✈️ SF (Aug 2-14)
@visakanv
Replying to
@QiaochuYuan
if it helps: what works for me when I want something that’s not feasible to get, is to then break the thing down into its components and find alternative sources for each of those things
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Visa ✈️ SF (Aug 2-14)
@visakanv
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some overlap between bits, but I basically get all of these things through other things... including twitter, and increasingly, youtube
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Trinley Goldenberg
@mattgoldenberg
I'm not sure if you're aware but this is the same as process at CFAR technique called goal factoring, which I'm sure QC has done and maybe even taught. Cool that you figured it out as well.
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Sarah Constantin
@s_r_constantin
Replying to
@QiaochuYuan
I feel you here. basically I've landed on "is taking this action predictably going to seriously hurt me or someone else?" plus "a little bit of suboptimality is no big deal, I was never gonna be perfect anyway"
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Sarah Constantin
@s_r_constantin
exes who are happily married to other people? yeah you can't ethically get them back. desires for validation that are maybe not the most virtuous? ehhh, nothing bad actually *happens* if you have a motive that somebody might condemn, just don't do actual bad things to people.
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