every statement a person makes about themselves, their lives, the nature of reality etc. has a shadow statement. in order to find it worthwhile to say a thing you must simultaneously be aware of the possibility of it being false, or else it wouldn't even occur to you to say
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in some cases the shadow statement is where almost all of the content is. when people say things like "oh i can just be nice to myself" that's fighting against a much larger shadow statement, all the ways it's felt true that they can't be nice to themselves
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i like therapeutic techniques centered around saying stuff, admitting things to yourself that feel uncomfortable but seem true, things like that
i think a common fear people have about this is that "saying it will make it true," and ime the exact opposite happens if anything
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in my experience, both with myself and with clients and friends, admitting the thing out loud expands awareness of the possibility that it might be false. it's very freeing!
otoh it's when you never admit the thing that it has the power to control you and become your reality 😬
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you can kinda tell when almost everything a person says is an attempt to fight against much larger shadow statements that are what they (or at least a part of them) actually believe. this is probably why byron katie's "turnaround" thing works
thework.com/instruction-th
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This feels like gaslighting yourself, in a way.
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Yeah it definitely would be if you tried to force them at all.
There might be a prerequisite skill or capacity needed to orient to this in a sufficiently gentle way where you're just trying them on & seeing what resonates.
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yeah Katie says the turnarounds should feel like kisses not slaps and that the whole framework rests on a an axiomatic understanding that everyone (including you) is trying their best
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this is not to say I can personally do them properly ho ho ho no I can not
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turnarounds are intense stuff!