i'm gonna try pacing instead of going for walks. i think the issue for me with walks is that i lose easy access to bathrooms and water and electronics and stuff. so far pacing around my room makes me spontaneously want to clean a bunch of stuff up which is nice
Conversation
turns out i have really strong opinions about how i want this room to be organized but i can only access then when i'm moving. what even is being human
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i have no idea how typical this is but my mom kept basically all of my childhood toys and stuff so i just… have… access to all of them still? wild stuff
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also all of my childhood books
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and math competition trophies 😅😅😅
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did any of you guys make these bead lizards? i made a lot of em. it was a minor revelarion when i learned i could change their body plan and started adding extra legs and wings and shit
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truly bizarre how much energy i've had the last 30m or so. real "could a depressed person do THIS???" vibes
Replying to
it’s like my locus of agency is slowly reinhabiting the space around me or something, where normally my locus of agency tends to sink into The Screens
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and now my upper back hurts 🤔 i didn't do anything remotely posturally stressful so i'm assuming this is feelings but idk what feelings
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no idea where this upper back tension is coming from but i stretched in a bunch of different directions and partly relaxed some of it. it seems to be connected to this big complex of knots in my torso and i would love for this whole thing to finally relax
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current vibe
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the good news is it seems like i don’t have to understand it to work with it. trying out a bunch of different positions and stretches and periodically burping
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Replying to
Yeah, I heard manic phases can be even enjoyable 😅 or maybe you found your turnig point, fingers crossed
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