i'm gonna try pacing instead of going for walks. i think the issue for me with walks is that i lose easy access to bathrooms and water and electronics and stuff. so far pacing around my room makes me spontaneously want to clean a bunch of stuff up which is nice
Conversation
turns out i have really strong opinions about how i want this room to be organized but i can only access then when i'm moving. what even is being human
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i have no idea how typical this is but my mom kept basically all of my childhood toys and stuff so i just… have… access to all of them still? wild stuff
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also all of my childhood books
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Replying to
did any of you guys make these bead lizards? i made a lot of em. it was a minor revelarion when i learned i could change their body plan and started adding extra legs and wings and shit
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truly bizarre how much energy i've had the last 30m or so. real "could a depressed person do THIS???" vibes
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it’s like my locus of agency is slowly reinhabiting the space around me or something, where normally my locus of agency tends to sink into The Screens
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and now my upper back hurts 🤔 i didn't do anything remotely posturally stressful so i'm assuming this is feelings but idk what feelings
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no idea where this upper back tension is coming from but i stretched in a bunch of different directions and partly relaxed some of it. it seems to be connected to this big complex of knots in my torso and i would love for this whole thing to finally relax
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current vibe
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the good news is it seems like i don’t have to understand it to work with it. trying out a bunch of different positions and stretches and periodically burping
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